I finally saw my new PCP (primary care physician). I had no idea what to expect. I found out before seeing her that she is the Medical Director of the medical group I belong to. That certainly explains why it took over a month to get an appointment with her. But hopefully that also means she’s good.

She is nice but unfortunately not a fan of WLS. She said she worries that 5 years from now they’ll find a better solution for obese people and wonder “why we did that to people”, meaning the gastric bypass. I did tell her I was interested in the Lap-Band, which I first heard about from my mother, and she said people lose less weight on that. She also said that 30% of people have complications with RNY.

However, she admits she has only had 2 patients who’ve had RNY, one of whom is not a patient anymore. So I question how much she really knows about it.

She gave me a lecture about eating right and exercising, which I have stopped doing recently due to hopelessness largely because eating right and exercising was not keeping me from re-gaining weight I had lost on my previous diet.

She gave me a silly 1200-calorie diet that contains 3 days of red meat and 1 day of kidney beans. I don’t want to be labeled non-compliant, but I will not be following that diet. I don’t eat red meat (Okay I don’t exactly look like a semi-vegetarian, but it’s true) and I don’t eat beans (don’t want gas). I would rather starve than eat red meat. It is the silliest diet I’ve seen in a long time because it doesn’t allow for substitutions. Most diets do. So when/if I go on a diet, it will be my previous Six-Week-Body Makeover diet which allows substitutions.

She mentioned Weight Watchers, but I can’t afford Weight Watchers, and I was on it twice. The last time I went, I stopped going quickly because frankly they weren’t telling me anything I didn’t already know. I don’t need to pay $11 per week to get weighed.

I understand that it is the standard medical practice–to hand an obese person a diet to follow, but why would she think a diet will work any better this time than it has the many times I’ve tried it previously.

I also broke down as soon as I started talking and cried throughout the whole exam. I was hoping I would NOT do that, but the fact is I rarely discuss my problems, and when I do, I get very emotional very quickly. I don’t like crying in front of people. It sure hurts my reputation as an ice queen..hehe!

I told her I thought I might be depressed and she agreed. I guess I have resisted coming to this conclusion because, in my mind, depressed means being suicidal, and I definitely don’t want to die. I just am very unhappy with my life (what life?!) and have been for a long time. However, the fact is I have been feeling worse in the last couple of months. I guess that’s a good thing since depression is a comorbidity.

I also have borderline hypertension. I have never been diagnosed with hypertension before but honestly the last time I went to a doctor, I probably weighed less. If my blood pressure doesn’t lower, I may have to take medication.

Fortunately, my cholesterol is very good. While some people have been glad to have multiple comorbidities, I am glad I don’t have high cholesterol. For one thing, it is not certain I will be approved for surgery, and comorbidities are life-threatening. Plus I do not want to have to take medication.

I did not go to a doctor for about 7 years before this, partly because I just kept forgetting but also because my only health problem has been obesity and none of my PCPs have ever helped in the least bit with this problem. But I will not be making that mistake again. Everyone should have a yearly visit with their doctor. For one thing, even if you’ve been healthy, you won’t know when you’ve developed a problem unless you visit the doctor. I am lucky I only have borderline hypertension, but there are people who die from their comorbidities at my age (and younger), so I should keep up with my yearly visits and tests.

The good thing to come out of this visit is she said she will give me a referral to a bariatric surgeon because I have a BMI of 40. (Yay!!!)